Sympathy, and the lack of

Disclaimer: This is a non-photography related post.

During a personality test that was conducted last year, I was being assessed as “lack of sympathy”. It triggered me to think why.

In real life, I do help out people who is in need, like joining charity work from time to time, helping the blind to cross the road and so on. I don’t think any of these can be done without sympathy.

In work though, it’s a little different. I am often being classified as “critical”, perhaps it sounds nicer than being “mean”, but that’s the way I feel best suited for workplace. We forge personal relations, but it should never be brought into work. We set clear direction, targets, small wins, and work for it to achieve them together. If you did well you earned a praise and reward, if you did poorly I will give you feedback and let’s work harder next time. If one is not performing, then one should leave the team and not to disrupt the flow.

In my company, although the office staff was specified with working hours to begin on 8am, there’s staff that came in at 9+am and yet no action was taken. When I comment on this, I was told that I’m being mean and not considerate. Really? People always give others “another chance” to do something right, even though the same mistakes had been repeated for multiple times. I would personally prefer to impose a certain level of warning or even punishment on the offender, and if repeating offence still occurs, off you will go. But this view is again classified as brutal for others.

For me, sympathy is given to those in need and really deserve it, and not for those who take things for granted. To a certain extent, we can be sympathetic at work, but there should be a limit to it. Perhaps I’ll never be a sympathetic person in work, I just can’t tolerate with excuses. Well, maybe I’m wrong, but this is my point of view at the moment. Do let me know if you have a different point of view on sympathy. Till then.

PERSONAL PROJECT: A BOOK ABOUT MYSELF

After much delay, I had finally completed another personal project of mine. This time around, this project is more on the words than the pictures. Initially I thought that I would like to reshoot all the pictures to make them relevant to the words written, but sadly I have to scrap the idea in the end as I simply do not have much time to do so.

Anyway, for those who is interested, you may find my new personal book here. This is a book with collection of passages, stories and thoughts of mine throughout the years. You may get to know me in person a little more by reading them (I guess…). Sorry that it was written in Chinese instead of English. Similar to my previous Japan Travel Photobook, I felt more comfortable in expressing myself in Chinese words than English.

That’s all for now. Hopefully I’ll have time to complete some other projects this year, though I do not really have any plan yet at the moment. Till then, thank you.

There goes January

What?

Yes, hello February. That was fast. January has been taxing for both my work and my study. Going through the Finance module was a pain for me as I have zero knowledge and zero interest on it. Even after reading through the materials, listening to the class lecture… I’m still pretty lost. Sigh. Workload has been heavy as usual at the start of the year, which should gradually become better when getting closer to March.

January has been rather uneventful overall, mainly were just work and studies. Didn’t really get to shoot actually, but I managed to process the rolls of film that I shot during my last trip in Bentong, Pahang, Malaysia. Every time when I scan and edit the film strips, I’ll keep asking myself: “Why the hell am I doing this…”, especially for the shots from Xpan, where I’ll need to crop each pictures manually and scan them accordingly, which is very troublesome. But this feeling was wiped off once I saw the result from the scan. It still amaze me whenever I saw the scan from an Xpan. I’ll share more about the trip in coming post.

Let’s hope February will be a good one. Till then.

State of my mind…

Been trying to observe myself lately. First the “heart attack” incident, then I got a knee problem at the end of January, and really no idea what happened for both cases. With the help of my Apple Watch I tried to measure and collect as much data from it to try to figure out what’s wrong.

I think I can safely say that my health is certainly affected by my work at the moment. There’re too much going on, the problems, the troubles, the people… and being myself, I just couldn’t ignore most of it and kept thinking about them. That’s where everything crumbles. Heart rate rises, breathing becomes harder, headache strikes whenever I think about work, whenever I am working in the office, whenever I’m talking to the people in my office.

Stress? Pressure? Depression?

I don’t know, though I don’t think my problems are related to any of these, but I could be wrong. I wonder how much longer I can last like this. I’m in a state where if taking drug can relief my mind, I’m more than happy to go ahead and do it. At least I can stop thinking about all the problems and just be myself and think about myself for a moment.

Sigh… what a way to kickstart the year…

On social media and about my blog

I never really like to spend time on social media such as Facebook, Instagram or etc, but I was sort of being “forced” to do so because my friends are all on Facebook, so the best way to keep up to date on their recent life will be browsing their feed from time to time.

I know that nowadays a lot of people cannot imagine living a day without social media. Perhaps they need attention, perhaps they need friends. For whatever reason, they just can’t stop refreshing their social media feed, posting every few minutes, sharing “stories” and so on.

No offence, and by all honesty, I don’t really bother about what one is doing throughout the day. My point has always been “why bother about the daily life of others while you can put more effort in living your day better instead”? Stop admiring others, work for it so that your life is as exciting as it can be!

About my blog, as mentioned before it is more like a journal for myself rather than a site to gather crowds and followers. I don’t use it as a social media platform. I don’t fancy all the “likes” and “shares”. I am grateful that there’s a steady stream of readers here who find some of my posts useful to them.

A big thank you for those who supported all along, and apologies as I wasn’t being that engaging with you all. I know the potential of social media and blog, but for me, my priority is to live my life, my “real” life. I rather spend more time seeing the world and experiencing new things than staying in front of computer or my phone and keep staring at the LCD screen.

That being said, I will continue to journal my life, my thoughts and my rants here. As for the social part, I’ll still keep it to the minimum. Call me old school, I still prefer real life interaction. Till then.