Grass is greener on the other side

“I feel happy for you for being able to be with someone you love, get married, and live happily ever after.” Said by someone who is single.
“You know what? I envied you for being single and live the life freely as you want!” Replied by someone who is married.

More often than not, we will come across conversation like this, or similar to this. As the old saying goes, “Grass is greener on the other side”, we will always admire what others have and forgot to appreciate what we owned. Same goes to life, same goes to everything else. Friends, family, job, wealth, health, job, gadgets… you name it.

I wonder why? Is it because we always compare ourselves with others in order to benchmark and see if we are living our life well? Is it because we feel insecure, we feel lost, hence we need to see what others do in order to guide ourselves through? Is it because we are not happy with what we have at the moment, hence we want to search for an answer from people around us? Or is it we simply don’t know how to appreciate what we have?

I’m not a saint. I do always ponder about why others are “better” than me in this and that, I do always admire how others live their life, I am guilty as well on this regards. But… what’s next? I think the attitude towards how you are going to react to this is more important. Are you going to just sit there and “admire” forever? Are you going to just complaint about why your life is not as good? Or are you going to do something about it?

It’s something that I’m trying to learn as well at the moment, and hopefully master it in the future. Perhaps first off I need to learn to appreciate more on what I have, this is certainly something that I’m lacking on. Next, if what I have is really not enough, then I’ll need to take some action to make things better. I’m not too worry on this, as I have always been quite adaptive and work hard for things I wanted.

Learn to appreciate, do more and complaint less… perhaps this may not be the answer to all, but this is probably what I’m going to practice and learn for the days to come. Grass may not always be greener on the other side.

Perhaps people has stopped thinking…


Netflix has released a new series titled “Tidying up with Marie Kondo”. Marie Kondo is well known for her methodology in tidying up spaces, and she has been quite famous in the East with social media presence and her book titled “The life-changing magic of tidying up”. This series has brought her fame to the Western world, and of course, one can expect a whole lot of buzz about her recently.

There were those who thank her as they regained their life by tidying up their home using the KonMari method. And there were those who cast doubt on her and gave their opinion about her method. Well, I’m not exactly a fan of her, though I do get to know about her technique quite awhile ago. Some of them were applied in my life and I found them to be useful, and my quality of life has improved because of that. Less clutter, less junk at home, leading to a better living environment. What’s not great about it?

Well, there are those who are skeptical about her method, and I feel that it’s okay to disagree on her method. For me, when I was learning her method, I try to take in everything taught by her, and then I’ll start to think and make sense of them, and I’ll interpret them and apply them in a way that works for me. I won’t follow everything blindly. The same goes to other knowledge and learnings, such as photography skills.

The common responds I saw online are those who dismissed the method all together without even trying to understand further, or even giving it a try. And there are those who said her method is toxically encouraging people to throw away stuffs, hence creating more problems than solving. This is where I started to have doubt on whether people do think about something while they are learning them?

Take my case for example, when I tidied stuff from my home and plan to get rid of them, the first thing that came to my mind was whether these items are of any use for others? Some items can actually be sold through channels like ebay or any other local forums, while some items I will post on my social platform and ask if any of my friends actually need it, if yes I will just gave it to them. Lastly, I’ll look for channels where I can actually donate the items to, especially for items such as clothings that can still be used. A lot of time, only few items will end up in the dustbin.

If you only watched the first episode of the series and start commenting… well I guess it just shows how shallow your thinking could be. I’m not defending the KonMari method or whatsoever, I just find these comments… a little stupid. Yes it seems to shown that people are just throwing away stuff in the video, but if you can’t make sense out of information you received, you probably can’t make sense in your comment either. The same goes to many other incidents or topics that has been discussed over the internet lately.

I’m not the smartest people in the world, so above is just my opinion and thoughts. Well, I could be wrong, but it’s always good to have thoughtful exchange of opinions which will spark thinking and learning, rather than just slamming on social media for the likes and shares. Till then.

《六弄咖啡馆》藤井树

This is part of a new series of writings that I’m planning to do, which is to write my thoughts after reading a book. For books in Mandarin, I will write my thoughts in Mandarin. For books in English, I will write my thoughts in English. Apologise for any inconvenience caused.

这是我第二次读这本书。第一次读的时候是在看了电影后,为了补完电影剧情而透过网络小说网站读了一遍。那时候呢,虽然说是觉得故事还蛮不错,但是却还不至于产生共鸣。而从去年年末开始,我的心情就一直不怎么好,非常低落,异常沮丧。问我为什么呢,也说不出个所以然,就是许许多多的事让我越发觉得透不过气来。在那时候,我突然想起了这故事,想起了这本书。于是,我就发疯似的走遍了大小书店,终于被我找到了这本书。买下来,然后再细细的品味一番。

《六弄咖啡馆》的故事开始得唯甜唯美,但却以悲痛欲绝的方式结束了故事。这是关闵绿的一生,这是他给予的选择,这是他得出的答案。也许你不会认同,但是…这也许就是人生。为什么我会想再一次看着故事呢?可能是因为我觉得现在的我,就像是关闵绿那样,陷入了六弄人生,无论怎么走都是死胡同,找不到出口吧?

一事无成的事业,那是我的第一弄。
疏远淡薄的亲情,那是我的第二弄。
不善经营的爱情,那是我的第三弄。
一成不变的生活,那是我的第四弄。
迷茫无助的未来,那是我的第五弄。
浑噩庸碌的自己,那是我的第六弄。

就像闵绿那样,我看不见出口,眼前出现的尽是死胡同。这一次读着这本书的我,更加有着“深感同受”的感觉,仿佛就要透不过气来一样。如果我能够活上六十岁,现在的我棺材都盖上一半了。但是,现在的我…却卡在了这里,停滞不前,无法进退。我知道这是我的人生,我知道没有人能够替我解决我的问题。解铃还须系铃人,希望我能够找得到那把寻觅已久的钥匙吧。

The feel good phase

Whenever you bought a new gear, when you first using it… you will most likely feel that “it’s so awesome!” or “oh my god everything is so great!”. I was the same too… I call it the “feel good” phase when you first using something new, it can be a new gadget, new car, new house, new furniture or even new shoes or new clothes. When you first use something new, you will probably feel good and everything about that new thing seems to be just perfect.

Fast forward few weeks or months later, as the “feel good” phase elapsed, things started to get a little… worse. You will probably started to notice the shortcomings of it, you will probably realized that actually it doesn’t really fit into your needs and style… and this will be the time when you faced reality, and worst case is you go out and buy something new to replace it and restart the whole “feel good” cycle.

Taking camera or phone review for example, most of the reviewers don’t even owned the device that long, but in order to crunch out reviews as early as possible, they will just briefly test it and gave their “review” anyway. That’s probably the reason why I don’t really like to watch those “review” videos as a lot of them simply don’t have much substance in it.

For me, I do fall into such “feel good” phase too. As much as I tried to stay conscious about it, sometimes I just can’t help but get carried away. However, I will not review an item or recommend it to people unless I have thoroughly tested it. Integrity is something I felt that is more important than being the first or being the spokesperson who said all the great things about what you are using.

Taking a recent example on my impression on the Sony WH-1000XM3 headphone, the first few days were “flawless” for me, but as I got my head down and feet on the ground, I started to notice and realized some of the quirks that I will need to live with and workaround. At the end of the day, one just need to be aware of this “feel good” phase and manage it accordingly. That should make you learn more about your gears and stuffs. Till then.